Saturday, June 25, 2011

This is the Day the Lord has Made

This is the day the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it!

This was the verse we used at our wedding 4 years ago. We chose it because we felt that God had set that day aside for Tim and I from the beginning of time. He ordained that day to be the day we gave our lives to each other until death do us part.

Today, 4 years later, we believe that God made this day to be the day we would bring home our son. We believe God has had this day planned for us and Cody from the beginning of time.

2 1/2 years ago, as I lay in bed so sick during my pregnancy, I begged God to take the sickness away. I felt like He had abandoned me, like He didn't really care about me. He could have taken my sickness away with just a thought. I was angry. Today, as we prepare to go meet our son I feel like God is finally giving me HIS answer to that prayer... He knew that if I had not been sick to the point of never wanting to be pregnant again, we would not be getting ready to meet our precious baby boy today! At the time, I just could not see His bigger picture. Laura Story, a Christian musician, wrote a song called "Blessings", and it spoke volumes to me this week!

Here is an excerpt:

We pray for wisdom
Your voice to hear
And we cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt Your goodness, we doubt Your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough
All the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we'd have faith to believe

Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
And what if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

Our birthparents are getting ready to be discharged from the hospital as I type. They are going to take Cody up to our adoption agency to sign the paperwork. Once the paperwork is signed, we will go and meet with them at the agency. After a brief placement ceremony, (I'm crying as I try to type this so don't mind the typos--I cant see the screen!) this sweet young couple is going to place their only child, the child that they love so much, in our arms, give him a kiss, and walk out the door. My mommy heart is breaking for them today. It is going to be a very bitter sweet time. Our joy is coming from their pain, and my heart aches for them! I just can't imagine..............

Please pray for them today! They are going to experience a pain no parent should ever have to feel.  The beauty of an open adoption is that this is not a forever goodbye. They will be getting pictures and letters, and will get to see him once or twice a year at agency sponsored functions, but it still doesn't soften the blow or fill the hole in their life after today. Please pray for strength today!

Thank you so much for supporting us on this journey!!! The funny thing is, this is just the beginning!

Thursday, June 23, 2011

The Real Waiting Begins

Cody was born at 2:08 this morning (Thursday, June 23rd)! He was 7lbs 3ozs and 19 3/4 inches long. They are all doing fine! Praise you Lord for bringing this baby into the world! Thank you for his birthmother who chose life for him! Babies truly are the greatest miracles!

Let me be honest with you.... I am terrified! Right now, Cody is probably snuggling in the arms of his birthparents. They are probably feeding him his early morning bottle, watching him while he sleeps, and kissing his little face. They are probably falling in love with him! The problem is, I have fallen in love with him too... and I haven't even seen him. They have the next 48 hours to fall head over heels, to the point of no return. That terrifies me!

Lord, I can't do this without You! Calm my anxious heart!

The side of me that likes to be in control of situations is freaking out, and I think that is right where God wants me. This is His turn to be in control (which I don't let happen near as much as I should)! I can almost hear Him asking this morning, "Summer, do you really trust me? Do you really believe that I can handle this on My own? Do you trust that I have your best interests at heart?" How many times in my past have I answered "no" to these questions through my actions?!?! The control side of me wants to go up to the hospital and try to convince her that I will be a great mom for Cody, but then I would be able to recieve the credit.... Instead, I am leaning on God. I am waiting on His timing.

 Lord, this is for YOUR glory! Regardless of what happens, we know that You are in control!

Although the 48 window passes at 2:08am Saturday morning, the agency doesn't do "middle of the night" signings and placements. So, we will probably be heading up to the hospital around 9ish Saturday morning to wait. We will hang out in the waiting room until our agency director comes out and says one of two things:
     1) They signed the papers, lets go back and see them and meet you new baby boy; or
     2) I'm sorry, they won't be placing this baby for adoption.

Pray with us these next 48+ hours! Pray that God would give all of us a peace and confidence in His plan for baby Cody. Pray that He would bring comfort for this birthfamily as they prepare to make the hardest decision of thier lives. And pray that we get some rest! I slept aweful last night and that could soon be the norm for a while, so I need the sleep now!

Thank you for joining us on this journey!

Monday, June 20, 2011

The Legacy of an Adopted Child

I can't read or even type up this poem without sobbing!!! It was in a book we are required by our agency to read titled "Dear Birthmother". It is the perfect words to explain the legacy that both a birthmother and an adoptive mother give to their child.... I hope it opens your eyes to the beauty of adoption!

The Legacy of an Adopted Child -

Once there were two women
Who never knew each other
One you do not remember
The other you call mother

Two different lives shaped to make yours one
One became your guiding star
The other became your sun

The first gave you life
And the second taught you to live it
The first gave you a need for love
And the second was there to give it

One gave you a nationality
The other gave you a name
One gave you the seed of talent
The other gave you an aim

One gave you emotions
The other calmed your fears   
One saw your first sweet smile
The other dried your tears

One gave you up - it was all that she could do
The other prayed for a child
And God led her straight to you 

And now you ask me through your tears
The age old question through the years;
Heredity or Environment -Which are you a product of?

Neither my darling - neither 
Just two different kinds of love!

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Is Our Journey Coming to an End??

Well friends, I figured it was time to let you in on where we are in our adoption journey! Tim and I received a call on Tuesday, May 24th that we had been chosen by birthfamily to be the potential parents for their baby! I think I laughed and cried at the same time when I heard the words, "We are calling to tell you that you have been chosen"!! We immediately made plans with the agency to go and meet them. Talk about nervous... what if they decide they don't like us, what if we run out of things to talk about, what if they don't show up, what should we bring as a gift? Our prayer for that day was that God would give us and them the same feeling of peace about the adoption. I was terrified that we would meet them and fall in love with them, and have them decide we weren't the right choice. God really answered our prayer! The meeting went great, and they were such a sweet couple who truly wanted to do what they feel is best for their baby. To have this young birthfather sit across from us and explain that they love their baby so much that they are choosing to sacrifice their desires in order to give the baby the life he deserves brought tears to my eyes. He perfectly defined adoption. Adoption is an amazing gift that a birthfamily gives their child when they know that they aren't equipped to be parents. It is done purely out of love, and not out of laziness or selfishness.

Nothing is set in stone right now. Birthparents cannot sign over their rights to the baby until 48 hours after birth. They still have plenty of time to change their minds, but after talking to our director during our homestudy today, she feel like they are standing very firm in their decision to pursue adoption. Please join us in prayer for this young couple who is trying to make a very hard decision in the next week or so!! Pray that God's will would be accomplished in the lives of all involved! This couple told us that they are not Christians, but that they wanted their baby to grow up in a Christian family since Christians were supposed to be good people. Pray that we reflect Christ in all of our actions in dealing with this couple. Pray that our lives would be a witness to them during this time, regardless of what they choose in the end. Pray that God would give us all peace and hope in Him during these next couple weeks! I guess what I'm trying to say is "Please PRAY!!"

Here are some specifics if you are interested ;)
They are having a BOY! His first name will be Cody (given to him by his birthparents) and his middle name, assuming they move forward with adoption, will be Jeremiah (given to him by his adoptive parents, us). We will probably work on incorporating another middle name for him if his birthparents choose to pick one. She is tentatively scheduled for induction on June 17th (yes, as in ONE WEEK from tomorrow). We are going to meet up with them again this weekend to continue to build our relationship. After that, we wait. We will find out this weekend whether or not they want us to be at the hospital after his birth. We want to be very respectful of the short amount of time they have with him before placing him in our arms, so the decision is fully up to them. After Cody is born, we wait again..... those 48 hours will be some of the hardest in our lives. Being a mother myself, I can't even begin to imagine what it must be like to make that final decision. I have said from the beginning that, although I would be heartbroken, I wouldn't blame her one bit if she changed her mind!! I will try to let you know when that 48 hour window begins so you can be joining us in prayer!

Thank you for your prayers, encouragement, and support! God, no matter what happens, let Your name be glorified!!

Monday, April 4, 2011

Not This Time

We found out last week that we were not chosen by the birthmom to be the parents for her child. And to be completely honest, we are ok with that and really feel at peace. We know that God is in control, and we are confident in His plan for us. Our little Bug makes is so easy to forget we are even in the adoption process... she is almost 2 years old now, and she moves a mile a minute! We are so thankful that she is in our lives, and we can't imagine what it would be like to go through this process without her. There are so many families who get the same phone call we did last week, the only difference is they don't have a child who runs up to them and says, "Mommy, Daddy... Hold you?" afterwards. My heart breaks for those couples! Thank you Lord for blessing us with Bug!!!!

Where do we go from here? We keep waiting. For most cases, we won't know when our profile is being shown. We will only+ For any case they consider "high risk", or a case that doesn't exactly match our criteria (ie birthmom had no prenatal care, consumed alcohol, etc) the agency will call and ask our permission.This last case was considered "high risk" because there was a good chance the birthfather was going to contest the adoption, and then a legal battle could insue. Thank you for praying for us during this process! We will try to keep you updated if we receive any news!!

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Pray for Today

We found out yesterday that our adoption profile is being shown today to a young woman. We are one of three families she will be considering. I can't go into much detail right now, but would you please join us in prayer today!! Please pray for this young woman who is trying to make a VERY difficult decision today! Pray that God would give her strength and peace today! Also, pray that God would lead her to the family that He has chosen specifically for her sweet baby. Pray that she would have confidence in the plan He has for her, her baby, and the family she chooses. Finally, pray for us and the other families who are anxiously waiting to hear if we were chosen. Pray that we would also have full confidence in God's plan for our lives! Thank you so much for supporting us through this! We will keep you posted once we hear back from the agency. God is in control!

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Adoption - Not Much to Tell / DNow - Pics

I'm trying to update once a month unless something exciting happens, then I will tell you right away! Well, there are only a few days left in February, so this might be my only post this month. So far, not much has happened. We have only heard from our agency twice this month via email, and they had nothing to do with our adoption. One was for a birthmom who needed a dorm sized refrigerator, and the other was to invite us to attend their annual fundraiser golf tournament. Is it wrong for me to think they are crazy to invite current waiting families to attend to golf tournament and donate?!?! I mean, we are already paying them $1000 a month, and we barely have two pennies to rub together after that! Oh well.... we will continue to trust in God!

Since that was a rather short and uneventful adoption update, I thought I would update you on some fun happenings around here! A little over a week ago, Tim and I had the opportunity to lead 11th grade girls and boys in Disciple Now at our old church. We had a blast!!! I was so blessed to have an amazing group of girls who made my job so much fun... In fact, I probably learned more from them than they did from me! We told stories, watched silly YouTube videos, sang along with Singing in the Rain, played Chinese freeze tag (which is when my body quickly reminded me I wasn't 17 anymore!), hung out with Burt, did some community service work, and learned about how to have healthy, Godly relationships. Here are some pictures from the community service scavenger hunt we did (my girls (and Burt) came in third place out of 13 teams!!):

Cleaning tables at a fast food place

Picking up trash at a city park


Buying a stranger's coffee

Reading a story to a random child in a bookstore. His parents didn't mind at all that a bunch of girls wanted to read to him, and he didn't seem to mind it either ;)

Helping someone take their groceries to the car


Thursday, January 13, 2011

Now We Know Why!

We got a letter from our adoption agency a couple weeks ago. Every time something comes in the mail from them my heart skips a beat. I'm sure if something really important had happened, they would call... but I still get sweaty palms as I open their letters. This letter, to most who got it, would have been informative, but nothing too exciting, but to us, it was an answer to prayer. The letter basically said that the agency was no longer accepting applications for new adoptive parents at this time. Since they average about 15 adoptions a year, they would like to keep the number of waiting families around the same. Now that they have at least 15 families waiting, they have decided to hold off on bringing in more. At the bottom of the letter it said,  "To clear up any confusion, you are already on the list." My eyes welled up with tears, God had answered my question of "Why?" Why did He have us work so frantically to get our adoption paperwork/interviews/homestudy done in time to adopt the baby girl we thought we were going to get, just to slam the door shut at the last minute?? He wanted us to be on the list with our agency!! And if we had gone at our pace instead of His, we would not have made the list this year!!

Lord - I feel so blessed that you chose to answer my heart's cry to You. I was so mad at You! I was so heartbroken! I didn't deserve an answer from You, and yet You gave me one. Forgive me for questioning You and Your motives. Help me to trust in You, and to truly believe that Your plan is for my good. Thank You for Your grace which you have poured on me!