Pray for Today

We found out yesterday that our adoption profile is being shown today to a young woman. We are one of three families she will be considering. I can't go into much detail right now, but would you please join us in prayer today!! Please pray for this young woman who is trying to make a VERY difficult decision today! Pray that God would give her strength and peace today! Also, pray that God would lead her to the family that He has chosen specifically for her sweet baby. Pray that she would have confidence in the plan He has for her, her baby, and the family she chooses. Finally, pray for us and the other families who are anxiously waiting to hear if we were chosen. Pray that we would also have full confidence in God's plan for our lives! Thank you so much for supporting us through this! We will keep you posted once we hear back from the agency. God is in control!

Adoption - Not Much to Tell / DNow - Pics

I'm trying to update once a month unless something exciting happens, then I will tell you right away! Well, there are only a few days left in February, so this might be my only post this month. So far, not much has happened. We have only heard from our agency twice this month via email, and they had nothing to do with our adoption. One was for a birthmom who needed a dorm sized refrigerator, and the other was to invite us to attend their annual fundraiser golf tournament. Is it wrong for me to think they are crazy to invite current waiting families to attend to golf tournament and donate?!?! I mean, we are already paying them $1000 a month, and we barely have two pennies to rub together after that! Oh well.... we will continue to trust in God!

Since that was a rather short and uneventful adoption update, I thought I would update you on some fun happenings around here! A little over a week ago, Tim and I had the opportunity to lead 11th grade girls and boys in Disciple Now at our old church. We had a blast!!! I was so blessed to have an amazing group of girls who made my job so much fun... In fact, I probably learned more from them than they did from me! We told stories, watched silly YouTube videos, sang along with Singing in the Rain, played Chinese freeze tag (which is when my body quickly reminded me I wasn't 17 anymore!), hung out with Burt, did some community service work, and learned about how to have healthy, Godly relationships. Here are some pictures from the community service scavenger hunt we did (my girls (and Burt) came in third place out of 13 teams!!):

Cleaning tables at a fast food place



Picking up trash at a city park



Pyramid!



Buying a stranger's coffee



Reading a story to a random child in a bookstore. His parents didn't mind at all that a bunch of girls wanted to read to him, and he didn't seem to mind it either ;)



Helping someone take their groceries to the car



LOVE!



Now We Know Why!

We got a letter from our adoption agency a couple weeks ago. Every time something comes in the mail from them my heart skips a beat. I'm sure if something really important had happened, they would call... but I still get sweaty palms as I open their letters. This letter, to most who got it, would have been informative, but nothing too exciting, but to us, it was an answer to prayer. The letter basically said that the agency was no longer accepting applications for new adoptive parents at this time. Since they average about 15 adoptions a year, they would like to keep the number of waiting families around the same. Now that they have at least 15 families waiting, they have decided to hold off on bringing in more. At the bottom of the letter it said,  "To clear up any confusion, you are already on the list." My eyes welled up with tears, God had answered my question of "Why?" Why did He have us work so frantically to get our adoption paperwork/interviews/homestudy done in time to adopt the baby girl we thought we were going to get, just to slam the door shut at the last minute?? He wanted us to be on the list with our agency!! And if we had gone at our pace instead of His, we would not have made the list this year!!

Lord - I feel so blessed that you chose to answer my heart's cry to You. I was so mad at You! I was so heartbroken! I didn't deserve an answer from You, and yet You gave me one. Forgive me for questioning You and Your motives. Help me to trust in You, and to truly believe that Your plan is for my good. Thank You for Your grace which you have poured on me!

Back in the Saddle

After our mad dash to get everything in place for our adoption a couple months ago, and after things fell through with our first round, we decided to take a breather for a month or so. There was some paperwork that needed updating, so we took our time getting that done. I guess there was a part of me that was still hurting over the loss of our first attempt, and I wasn't ready to move on just yet. It is amazing how quickly you can love a little baby you have never even met yet! We bathed her in prayer, came up with names, started imagining what our life would be like with her in it, and then, just as quickly as she came into our life, she was gone. And even though I will probably never see her face, she will still have a piece of my heart! I praise the Lord for her brave mother who is working so hard to give her a good life, in spite of the circumstances!!

Last week we decided it was time to jump back into the mix... well, it was actually a combination of us finally being ready to put ourselves back out there, and the agency emailing us that they needed our generic letters to update our profile. Now that our updated letters are in, there is nothing left for us to do but wait! I sometimes forget that we are potential adoptive parents and that at any moment we could get a call about a baby. I am thankful for our Bug, who keeps me busy, and keeps my mind off of wondering/worrying!! People have asked if we will be more guarded this next go-around... and my answer is no. I don't want to go into a potential adoption half-hearted out of fear of a failed placement! Each baby and birthmother needs our prayers and love, regardless of whether they see the adoption through to the end or not. I also want my Godly family to know where we are in this journey! We would love for you to intercede on our behalf, to ask God for His guidance and wisdom! We are ready to climb back in saddle, and I hope you will join us!

Yesterday was Hard

We found out yesterday that our friend had her little girl Sunday night. She was 6lbs 3ozs. The cool thing is that her mom gave her the same middle name we were going to give her... "Grace". Yesterday was hard though... because, had everything gone the way we wanted, we would have been driving to pick her up from the hospital last night. We would have brought home our beautiful new daughter last night, and instead of sitting here at work today thinking about her and what her future holds, I would be holding her and kissing her sweet face. But, the key point in that thought, is that it is where we would be if things had gone OUR way instead of GOD's way. And the one thing we have heard over and over is that God has a plan in all of this, and His ways are not our ways. His plan is to prosper us, and not to harm us. His plan is to give us hope and a future. So today, I am clinging to that plan, His plan!! Praise you Lord for being in control!

When God Closes a Door.......

Well, our biggest fear during this process was realized this week... The Agency we are working will attempted to contact the birthfather to talk with him about the birthmom's adoption plan. He didn't say much except that his lawyer would be contacting the Agency lawyer.... which she did 30 minutes later. Apparently he was already building a case to not only stop the adoption, but also to fight the birthmom for custody of the baby girl. I don't really know what this guy is thinking right now... He is a single guy, who lives several hours away from where the birthmom and baby will be, has been absent for most of this pregnancy, and has no means to raise a baby. My heart grieves for this poor baby girl!! She is going to grow up in a broken home, being carted back and forth between birthparents. I know God's plan is to prosper and not to harm.... but it is hard to see that in this situation.

At this point, the agency is no longer pursuing an adoption case. They don't want to do anything that could damage the birthmom in a custody battle. That in itself is frustrating as well!! This woman, after being abandoned by the man who got her pregnant (and who wanted her to have an abortion), put her baby first, and chose to place her in a loving home where she could be raised by a mom and dad. Now, 3 weeks before she is due, he shows up and tries to use that against her, saying she didn't want the baby so he should get her. What is this world coming to where a woman can be praised for having an abortion because she exercised her "right to choose", yet be burned at the stake for choosing LIFE for her baby, and wanting to put it up for adoption.

I am frustrated at the situation.... but, at the same time, my hope is in the LORD, and I know that there is a sweet little baby that He has in mind for us. Please join me in prayer for our sweet friend, a woman who is preparing to fight, once again, for her baby girl, and who only wants the best for her. Pray that God would give her strength and courage during the next few weeks as she prepares to deliver her baby, and fight the father for her at the same time!

The Waiting Game

Well, we have completed just about everything needed on our end to make this adoption possible. All the paperwork is filled out, the home study is done, the TB tests and blood work are complete..... now we wait.

If you know me very well, you know that waiting is not my thing. I like to take charge and get things done when and how I want them done. So sitting here, waiting for a phone call, wondering if this is really going to happen, hoping we have done everything right, is driving me crazy!!! I had three different people tell me the same thing last week... now is the time to "be still, and know that He is God". So, that is what I'm trying to do.

Our potential birthmom is scheduled for induction the first week of November, so we have three weeks at the longest to wait. The hardest part about waiting is the unknown. Is she going to change her mind, is the dad going to contest, is this really what God wants us to do?? All these questions run through my head. We are going to meet the birthmom on Tuesday, and I am super nervous! Will she call and cancel, will she like us, will I say the wrong thing to her? So many questions!!!! Please pray with us that God would calm my anxious heart, and give me a peace about his plan for us! Pray that God would make His path so clear to us, the birthmom, the birthfather, and the agency, that all would be of one mind and spirit!

I leave you with that for now... there is so much more I could tell right now, but just thinking about it scares me!