Thursday, September 16, 2010

It has begun!

About 5 months ago, Tim and I went out for a date night. Bug was staying with my parents so we actually had some time to relax and talk! Out of the blue, Tim tells me he is ready to start looking into adoption. This was HUGE! I decided half way through my pregnancy with Bug that I never wanted to be pregnant again. Tim didn't want me to go through the sickness again, but at the same time he still wanted another biological child. I told myself that I was not going to bring up adoption to him because I wanted it to be when he was ready. Choosing to not have more children biologically was tough! We were mourning the loss of the children we weren't going to have. A couple days after talking about starting the adoption process I was talking with a dear friend on the phone after a doctor appt. As soon as I told her we were looking to adopt she gasped! She had just received a call from a family friend asking if she knew of any Christian families looking to adopt. Their daughter was 2 months pregnant and was considering adoption. We told her we would pray about it and get back to her. We were amazed at the timing of everything, and felt like God really had a hand in this. After talking and praying, we told our friend we would love to adopt the baby. A month or so later we got a call that the mom was going to work things out with the biological father, and they would keep the baby. After that we slowed down with the adoption process. We had found the agency we wanted to use in the future and had filled out some preliminary paperwork. Fast-forward to 2 weeks ago... my friend calls me up to get the contact info for our agency. Apparently things weren't going well between the birthmother/father and adoption was back in the picture. Talk about a feeling of excitement and panic at the same time!! She is due the 1st week of November which is less than 8 weeks away! We sent along the information and got a call a few days later that she had contacted our agency.  Although she is still not sure if adoption is what she really wants, she is in contact with our agency and know that there is a Christian family who would love to adopt her precious baby. We have sent pictures and other information to her through our friend.

8 weeks does not give us much time to complete all the necessary requirements, so we have moved into overdrive! As of right now we are moving forward as though we are part of a designated adoption. A designated adoption is one where the biological parents have already selected a family they would like to have adopt their child prior to joining up with an agency (typically the birthmother chooses an agency and then is shown a number of potential families she can choose from). The agency is really more of a facilitator and counselor in these situations. If this adoption were to fall through, our profile would be placed in with those of other waiting families. We are trying to not get our hopes up... As a mommy myself, I can't even begin to imagine what it would be like to consider putting your baby up for adoption!! There is such a bond that forms between a mom and her baby during those 9 months leading up to birth. Even though I was so sick, I couldn't help but smile when Bug would dance in my belly to the music on Dancing with the Stars... I felt like I knew her well before she was born. I would have nothing but complete understanding if this mommy decides she wants to keep her baby, so I have to prepare myself for that possibility while frantically preparing for the possibility that she chooses us to raise and love her baby.   

Where are we today?? This past weekend Tim and I turned in our first round of adoption paperwork to the agency we chose. Since we are adopting through a Christian agency, we had to complete a "Christian Questionnaire", write our testimony, and fill out a couple basic info forms. This was just the initial screening packet the agency uses to determine if we meet their criteria for adoption. If we meet the criteria we will move on to the Pre-Adoption Conference, which is a mutual information sharing and interview between us and the agency. We are hoping to hear back from them by the end of this week, since we are on a tight schedule.  Please pray that God will open and close doors, that we would be able to bring Him glory no matter the outcome, and that we would continually place our hope in Him... because He is the only constant in this situation!!! We will update you as soon as we hear back from the agency and set up our Pre-Adoption Conference!

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Background and such...

Welcome to our new family blog! Tim and I are in the process of adopting our second child, and we felt the need to get rid of our old blog since it had quite a bit of identifying information on it (last names, locations, etc). So here we are! Let’s start at the beginning, so you know how we ended up here today!

Before Tim and I got married, we talked about how many children we wanted.... to which we decided 2-3. We also talked about adoption. We decided we wanted to have 2 biological children, then possibly adopt our third. This was before we had any idea how badly my body handled pregnancy.

During my first pregnancy I was diagnosed with Hyperemesis Gravidarum, which is basically severe nausea and vomiting. By 10 weeks I had lost 10 lbs and had a home health care company come out and teach me how to use a Zofran pump. I wore the pump 24/7 and had to reposition the IV location every two days to prevent irritation. By 20 weeks I had lost 20 lbs and had no subcutaneous fat left to inject the Zofran. At 22 weeks my doctor decided to have a PICC line inserted in my arm for daily IV nutrition, for the sake of my life and the baby's. At that point I hit my emotional wall.... Tim and I somewhat abandoned our house and moved in with my parents. Tim was busy with work so my mom took a leave of absence to stay home and take care of me. I can't begin to describe the physical and mental anguish I was going through. After 7 weeks of the PICC line being in one arm, the line "clogged" at the end going into my heart requiring a trip to the ER and a 2am PICC line replacement procedure to move it to my other arm. FINALLY, at 36 weeks I was feeling well enough to come off the PICC line.... so that was 14 weeks of not being able to bathe myself, not being able to leave the house after 5pm without carrying my 2 liter bag of "food" and the infusion pump with me, and being miserable! Then came the big day, time for my baby girl to be born!! After 27 hours of labor, Bug (as she will be referred to in this blog) went into fetal distress. Emergency C-Section, here we come! Praise the Lord, Bug was born as healthy as can be!! I tell you this, not for sympathy, but rather as a background for why Tim and I felt adoption was the best option for us going forward. Was Bug worth every minute of sickness.... yes!! Do I want to be pregnant ever again.... no!! Unfortunately, there is no cure for Hyperemesis, and doctors can't guarantee that it won’t happen again.

So God had other plans for us! We will have 1 biological child and, Lord willing, at least 1 adopted child! This blog is to document this amazing journey of grafting a little one into our family tree, and to give glory to the Lord for His grace, and for grafting us into His family!