The Legacy of an Adopted Child

I can't read or even type up this poem without sobbing!!! It was in a book we are required by our agency to read titled "Dear Birthmother". It is the perfect words to explain the legacy that both a birthmother and an adoptive mother give to their child.... I hope it opens your eyes to the beauty of adoption!

The Legacy of an Adopted Child -

Once there were two women

Who never knew each other

One you do not remember

The other you call mother

Two different lives shaped to make yours one

One became your guiding star

The other became your sun

The first gave you life

And the second taught you to live it

The first gave you a need for love

And the second was there to give it

One gave you a nationality

The other gave you a name

One gave you the seed of talent

The other gave you an aim

One gave you emotions

The other calmed your fears   

One saw your first sweet smile

The other dried your tears

One gave you up - it was all that she could do

The other prayed for a child

And God led her straight to you 

And now you ask me through your tears

The age old question through the years;

Heredity or Environment -Which are you a product of?

Neither my darling - neither 

Just two different kinds of love!

Is Our Journey Coming to an End??

Well friends, I figured it was time to let you in on where we are in our adoption journey! Tim and I received a call on Tuesday, May 24th that we had been chosen by birthfamily to be the potential parents for their baby! I think I laughed and cried at the same time when I heard the words, "We are calling to tell you that you have been chosen"!! We immediately made plans with the agency to go and meet them. Talk about nervous... what if they decide they don't like us, what if we run out of things to talk about, what if they don't show up, what should we bring as a gift? Our prayer for that day was that God would give us and them the same feeling of peace about the adoption. I was terrified that we would meet them and fall in love with them, and have them decide we weren't the right choice. God really answered our prayer! The meeting went great, and they were such a sweet couple who truly wanted to do what they feel is best for their baby. To have this young birthfather sit across from us and explain that they love their baby so much that they are choosing to sacrifice their desires in order to give the baby the life he deserves brought tears to my eyes. He perfectly defined adoption. Adoption is an amazing gift that a birthfamily gives their child when they know that they aren't equipped to be parents. It is done purely out of love, and not out of laziness or selfishness.

Nothing is set in stone right now. Birthparents cannot sign over their rights to the baby until 48 hours after birth. They still have plenty of time to change their minds, but after talking to our director during our homestudy today, she feel like they are standing very firm in their decision to pursue adoption. Please join us in prayer for this young couple who is trying to make a very hard decision in the next week or so!! Pray that God's will would be accomplished in the lives of all involved! This couple told us that they are not Christians, but that they wanted their baby to grow up in a Christian family since Christians were supposed to be good people. Pray that we reflect Christ in all of our actions in dealing with this couple. Pray that our lives would be a witness to them during this time, regardless of what they choose in the end. Pray that God would give us all peace and hope in Him during these next couple weeks! I guess what I'm trying to say is "Please PRAY!!"

Here are some specifics if you are interested ;)
They are having a BOY! His first name will be Cody (given to him by his birthparents) and his middle name, assuming they move forward with adoption, will be Jeremiah (given to him by his adoptive parents, us). We will probably work on incorporating another middle name for him if his birthparents choose to pick one. She is tentatively scheduled for induction on June 17th (yes, as in ONE WEEK from tomorrow). We are going to meet up with them again this weekend to continue to build our relationship. After that, we wait. We will find out this weekend whether or not they want us to be at the hospital after his birth. We want to be very respectful of the short amount of time they have with him before placing him in our arms, so the decision is fully up to them. After Cody is born, we wait again..... those 48 hours will be some of the hardest in our lives. Being a mother myself, I can't even begin to imagine what it must be like to make that final decision. I have said from the beginning that, although I would be heartbroken, I wouldn't blame her one bit if she changed her mind!! I will try to let you know when that 48 hour window begins so you can be joining us in prayer!

Thank you for your prayers, encouragement, and support! God, no matter what happens, let Your name be glorified!!

Not This Time

We found out last week that we were not chosen by the birthmom to be the parents for her child. And to be completely honest, we are ok with that and really feel at peace. We know that God is in control, and we are confident in His plan for us. Our little Bug makes is so easy to forget we are even in the adoption process... she is almost 2 years old now, and she moves a mile a minute! We are so thankful that she is in our lives, and we can't imagine what it would be like to go through this process without her. There are so many families who get the same phone call we did last week, the only difference is they don't have a child who runs up to them and says, "Mommy, Daddy... Hold you?" afterwards. My heart breaks for those couples! Thank you Lord for blessing us with Bug!!!!

Where do we go from here? We keep waiting. For most cases, we won't know when our profile is being shown. We will only+ For any case they consider "high risk", or a case that doesn't exactly match our criteria (ie birthmom had no prenatal care, consumed alcohol, etc) the agency will call and ask our permission.This last case was considered "high risk" because there was a good chance the birthfather was going to contest the adoption, and then a legal battle could insue. Thank you for praying for us during this process! We will try to keep you updated if we receive any news!!

Pray for Today

We found out yesterday that our adoption profile is being shown today to a young woman. We are one of three families she will be considering. I can't go into much detail right now, but would you please join us in prayer today!! Please pray for this young woman who is trying to make a VERY difficult decision today! Pray that God would give her strength and peace today! Also, pray that God would lead her to the family that He has chosen specifically for her sweet baby. Pray that she would have confidence in the plan He has for her, her baby, and the family she chooses. Finally, pray for us and the other families who are anxiously waiting to hear if we were chosen. Pray that we would also have full confidence in God's plan for our lives! Thank you so much for supporting us through this! We will keep you posted once we hear back from the agency. God is in control!

Adoption - Not Much to Tell / DNow - Pics

I'm trying to update once a month unless something exciting happens, then I will tell you right away! Well, there are only a few days left in February, so this might be my only post this month. So far, not much has happened. We have only heard from our agency twice this month via email, and they had nothing to do with our adoption. One was for a birthmom who needed a dorm sized refrigerator, and the other was to invite us to attend their annual fundraiser golf tournament. Is it wrong for me to think they are crazy to invite current waiting families to attend to golf tournament and donate?!?! I mean, we are already paying them $1000 a month, and we barely have two pennies to rub together after that! Oh well.... we will continue to trust in God!

Since that was a rather short and uneventful adoption update, I thought I would update you on some fun happenings around here! A little over a week ago, Tim and I had the opportunity to lead 11th grade girls and boys in Disciple Now at our old church. We had a blast!!! I was so blessed to have an amazing group of girls who made my job so much fun... In fact, I probably learned more from them than they did from me! We told stories, watched silly YouTube videos, sang along with Singing in the Rain, played Chinese freeze tag (which is when my body quickly reminded me I wasn't 17 anymore!), hung out with Burt, did some community service work, and learned about how to have healthy, Godly relationships. Here are some pictures from the community service scavenger hunt we did (my girls (and Burt) came in third place out of 13 teams!!):

Cleaning tables at a fast food place



Picking up trash at a city park



Pyramid!



Buying a stranger's coffee



Reading a story to a random child in a bookstore. His parents didn't mind at all that a bunch of girls wanted to read to him, and he didn't seem to mind it either ;)



Helping someone take their groceries to the car



LOVE!



Now We Know Why!

We got a letter from our adoption agency a couple weeks ago. Every time something comes in the mail from them my heart skips a beat. I'm sure if something really important had happened, they would call... but I still get sweaty palms as I open their letters. This letter, to most who got it, would have been informative, but nothing too exciting, but to us, it was an answer to prayer. The letter basically said that the agency was no longer accepting applications for new adoptive parents at this time. Since they average about 15 adoptions a year, they would like to keep the number of waiting families around the same. Now that they have at least 15 families waiting, they have decided to hold off on bringing in more. At the bottom of the letter it said,  "To clear up any confusion, you are already on the list." My eyes welled up with tears, God had answered my question of "Why?" Why did He have us work so frantically to get our adoption paperwork/interviews/homestudy done in time to adopt the baby girl we thought we were going to get, just to slam the door shut at the last minute?? He wanted us to be on the list with our agency!! And if we had gone at our pace instead of His, we would not have made the list this year!!

Lord - I feel so blessed that you chose to answer my heart's cry to You. I was so mad at You! I was so heartbroken! I didn't deserve an answer from You, and yet You gave me one. Forgive me for questioning You and Your motives. Help me to trust in You, and to truly believe that Your plan is for my good. Thank You for Your grace which you have poured on me!

Back in the Saddle

After our mad dash to get everything in place for our adoption a couple months ago, and after things fell through with our first round, we decided to take a breather for a month or so. There was some paperwork that needed updating, so we took our time getting that done. I guess there was a part of me that was still hurting over the loss of our first attempt, and I wasn't ready to move on just yet. It is amazing how quickly you can love a little baby you have never even met yet! We bathed her in prayer, came up with names, started imagining what our life would be like with her in it, and then, just as quickly as she came into our life, she was gone. And even though I will probably never see her face, she will still have a piece of my heart! I praise the Lord for her brave mother who is working so hard to give her a good life, in spite of the circumstances!!

Last week we decided it was time to jump back into the mix... well, it was actually a combination of us finally being ready to put ourselves back out there, and the agency emailing us that they needed our generic letters to update our profile. Now that our updated letters are in, there is nothing left for us to do but wait! I sometimes forget that we are potential adoptive parents and that at any moment we could get a call about a baby. I am thankful for our Bug, who keeps me busy, and keeps my mind off of wondering/worrying!! People have asked if we will be more guarded this next go-around... and my answer is no. I don't want to go into a potential adoption half-hearted out of fear of a failed placement! Each baby and birthmother needs our prayers and love, regardless of whether they see the adoption through to the end or not. I also want my Godly family to know where we are in this journey! We would love for you to intercede on our behalf, to ask God for His guidance and wisdom! We are ready to climb back in saddle, and I hope you will join us!